This is the definitive list of Totes Faves: Oscar Never-Beens as determined in the completely scientific Totes Faves Battledome. Disagree? Let us know in the comments! Especially if you like us, right now, you like us.
5. Gene Hackman as Royal Tenenbaum in “The Royal Tenenbaums”
Gene Hackman narrowly beat out Gwyneth Paltrow’s Margot Tenenbaum through the power of a charming montage set to Simon & Garfunkel’s “Me & Julio.” I still miss Buckley.
4. Michelle Pfeiffer as Selina Kyle/Catwoman in “Batman Returns”
Here kitty kitty. Michelle Pfeiffer and her home-stitched cat suit clawed her way to the top of our pile.
3. Dana Carvey as Garth Algar in “Wayne’s World”
Did you ever find Bugs Bunny attractive when he put on a dress and played a girl bunny? If the answer is yes, then you understand why Garth is on this list. WAY!
2. Jack Nicholson as Jack Torrance in “The Shining”
All work and no play makes for a helluva Jack Nicholson performance. We know he already has three Academy Awards at home, but why not one more for luck?
1. Brittany Murphy as Tai in “Clueless”
Brittany Murphy not at #1? AS IF! That would be way harsh, Tai.